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Favourite London signs “DUE TO PROBLEMS
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Favourite London signs

“DUE TO PROBLEMS WITH VANDALS, WE ARE ASKING ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THIS CEMETERY TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER”
(cemetery)

“THE BARGAIN BASEMENT IS UPSTAIRS”
(department store)

“‘BORDELLO’ IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE RESTAURANT IN LONDON. EVERYONE WELCOME”
(restaurant)

“MACHINES ARE AUTOMATIC, SO REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES GREEN”
(launderette)

“WE REPAIR EVERYTHING. PLEASE KNOCK HARD AS THE BELL DOESN’T WORK
(repair shop door)

“WHOEVER TOOK THE LADDER YESTERDAY BRING IT BACK AT ONCE OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN”
(office)

“MUMS, WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE YOU EAT”
(German restaurant)

“WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING (BIKES, HI-FI ETC). SO WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A SPECIAL BARGAIN?”
(second-hand shop)

“TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW”
(toilet)

“QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS SIGN WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE MAYOR”
(beach)

“PLEASE DON’T SMOKE NEAR THE PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MIGHT NOT BE WORTH ANYTHING, BUT OUR PETROL IS”
(petrol station)

“AFTER USE, EMPLOYEES MUST EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD”
(office)

“ANYONE LEAVING THEIR CLOTHES HERE FOR MORE THAN 21 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF”
(dry cleaners)

“CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS”
(health food shop)

“MANURE. 50p PER PRE-PACKED SACK”
(20p DO-IT-YOURSELF) (farm)

“ELEPHANTS PLEASE DON’T LEAVE YOUR CAR”
(safari park)

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