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10. Watch the bag fill.

9. Hyperventilate.

8. Pull the tube out of the bag and drink from it.

7. Race to see who fills their bag first (requires two or more people).

6. Puncture the bag near the top and see whether they pull the needle out of your arm before the blood squirts out.

5. While they’re not looking, substitute a bag of orange liquid and complain they gave you too much Tang.

4. Insist that you want to give 2 pints.

3. Faint.

2. Tell them you saw the bag twitch.

1. Yell, “Hey, you used that needle on the last guy!”

1. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up.

2. The Sun is too loud.

3. Trees begin to chase you.

4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.

6. You can hear mimes.

7. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

8. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

9. Things become “Very Clear.”

10. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

11. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

12. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand.

13. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense.

14. You and Reality file for divorce.

15. You can skip without a rope.

16. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

17. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

18. You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe and Everything else, but can’t quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

19. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

20. You can travel without moving. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

21. You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

22. Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

23. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

* If I like it, it’s mine.

* If it’s in my mouth, it’s mine.

* If I can take it from you, it’s mine.

* If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.

* If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

* If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

* If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.

* If I saw it first, it’s mine.

* If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

* If it’s broken, it’s yours.

1. “Isn’t there a robbery at the Orange Julius you should be investigating?”

2. I’m searching for a hard to find 1998 nickel.”

3. “DUH!! The Gap is having a sale!”

4. “Did you know that it now costs 35 cents to make a phone call?”

5. “Thanks idiot…I had just made a wish that I could clean the fountain out and not get caught! Way to ruin that wish!!”

6. “Have you seen that really cool gumball machine in the food court? It rolls down a spiral ramp!”

7. “I’m at the last level of Mortal Kombat IV and I need another quarter.”

8. “I’m trying to match the exact amount of your worthless paycheck you Barney Fife wannabe!”

9. “See..I need a quarter to make a phone call to my Kleptomaniacs Anonymous sponsor and that’s why I’m stealing the quarters in the fountain. I NEED HELP MAN!!!”

10. “Ummmm…I’m looking for beer money?”

You go to a Tupperware party for a haircut.
You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.
You go to church and the preacher says “I like for Bubba to help me with the offering”, and 5 different boys stand up.
You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.
You go to strip joints for family reunions.
You go to the bank for a loan and the loan officer asks to see the stock you have listed as collateral, so you bring in the three hogs you bought last month at the auction.
You go to the dentist for a “Tooth Cleaning”.
You go to the family reunion to meet women.
You go to the family reunion to pickup women.
You go to the post office to research your family tree.
You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
You go to Wal-Mart to people watch.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.
You go to your sister’s wedding so you can kiss the bride
You go up a water tower with a can of paint to protect your sister.
You got Clapper devices controlling the appliances in your house.
You got married in the family car, in a drive-thru chapel.
You got more antennas on your truck than the local TV station.
You got stopped by a state trooper; he asked you had an I.D. And you said, “Bout What?’
You got your pickup truck from a lake.
You got your tater gun hangin’ over your couch in your living room as a conversation piece.
You grandmother spits farther than you.
You grow flowers in an old commode in your front yard.
You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
You had a receding hairline in the 6th grade.
You had to buy an 18-Wheeler for family vacations.
You had to call the police department to get your flare gun back.
You had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You had your own parking space in Jr High.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You hang pickled eggs and pop-tops from your Christmas tree.
You haul more than U-Haul.
You have 10 cars in your front yard and only once of them isn’t on blocks and the engine works.
You have 20 cars that don’t work and a mobile home
You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that is!
You have 500 men working under you and you cut grass at the cemetery.
You have a “church” cap.
You have a beer cooler on your riding lawn mower.
You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.

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