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There was a young lady of Wheeling,
Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover’s desire
She said: “It’s a sin
But now that it’s in
Could you shove it a few inches higher?”

There was a young Scotchman named Jock
Who had a most horrible shock:
He once took a shit
In a leaf-covered pit,
And the crap sprung a trap on his cock.

There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight ‘un.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right ‘un.”



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