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There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think –
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!

There once was a man from Pompei
Who fashioned a snatch out of clay
The heat from his prick,
Turned the clay into brick
And tore all his foreskin away!!

A comely young widow named Ransom
Was ravished three times in a hansom:
When she cried out for more,
A voice from the floor
Cried: ‘Lady, I’m Simpson, not Samson!’

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She was missing a tit.
She smelled like shit.
But think of the money he saved!



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