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Nick the prick had a forty foot dick,
He showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
And hit it with a rake,
And now it’s only four foot four.

With a blowtorch he set out to melt,
His loved one’s iron chastity belt.
What dampened his yearning,
Was pubic hair burning,
And he lost the desire he felt.

There was a young lady of Wheeling,
Who professed to a lack of sexual feeling.
But a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris,
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.

There was a young dentist Malone
who had a charming girl patient alone.
But in his depravity
he filled the wrong cavity,
God, how his practice has grown!

The sea captain’s tender young bride
fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
that some of the eels
had discovered a dark place to hide.



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