There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She was missing a tit.
She smelled like shit.
But think of the money he saved!

There once was a man from Peru
Who was desperately hanging out for a screw.
He picked up a moll
And rammed home his pole
Then said, “Jesus, that was Long overdue.”

A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she’d “just take a chance.”
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

Goldilocks has lots of guys
Pinnochio’s one, I’m advised!
She sits on the puppet
And sticks his nose right up it
And makes the poor fellow tell lies!

A hard-headed cabby named Peter
Was asked by a fare if he’d eat her.
He said, “It’s not free.
I will only agree
To go down while I’m running the meter.”