On the internet they found romance,
That put both in a hot sexual trance,
But each had a gripe,
About having to type,
With their hand stuck down into their pants.

Said a swinging young lady named Lyth,
Whose virtue was largely a myth,
“Try as hard as I can,
I can’t find a man,
That it’s fun to be virtuous with.”

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who had to walk belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used wallpaper paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.

They all had a friend, name of Lee,
Whose pecker hung down to his knee,
If he hadn’t a’ tied it,
The girls they’d all ride it,
And he never could use it to pee.

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, “Look you’ve cum,
all over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.”