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There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”

There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, “You’re a tight ‘un.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole.
There’s plenty of room in the right ‘un.”

There once was a monk in Siberia
Whose existence got steadily drearier.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn’t have done
And made her a mother superior!

There was a young lady of Worcester
Who dreamt that a rooster seduced her.
She woke with a scream,
But ’twas only a dream
A lump in the mattress had goosed her.

While Titian was mixing rose madder,
his model was posed on a ladder.
Her position to Titian
suggested fruition.
So he mounted the ladder and had her.



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