There was a young man from St. Paul’s
Who read Harper’s Bazaar and McCall’s
Till he grew such a passion
For feminine fashion
That he knitted a snood for his balls.

There once was a woman named Nancy,
Who waltzed with a man they called Clancey.
Soon after the dance,
He pulled down her silk pants,
Proceeding to tickle her fancy.

A virgin with eyes that were blue,
Was told that it’s sinful to screw.
So she rubbed on her clit,
But swore that she’d quit,
At least in the next year or two.

There once was a girl of Siam
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
“If you take me, of course,
You must do it by force
But, thank God, you’re stronger than I am.”

The was a man named Sir Lancelot
Who went to parties and danced a lot
When making a pass
At a young pretty lass
The front of his pants would advance a lot!