A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie –
But I got a nice price for the pups.”

The last time I dined with the King
He did quite a curious thing.
He sat on a stool
And took out his tool
And said, “If I play will you sing?”

There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.

There was a young man who’s dong
Was prodigiously, massively long
Down the sides of his whang,
two testes did hang
Which attracted a curious throng.

There once was a pirate named Bates
Who attempted to rhumba on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.