There once was a man named Mort,
Whose dick was incredibly short.
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said,
“That’s not a dick it’s a wart!”

A mathematician named Hall
Has a hexahedronical ball,
And the cube of its weight
Times his pecker’s, plus eight
Is his phone number — give him a call..

There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said, “Look you’ve cum,
all over my bum,
This isn’t a shag it’s a mockery.”

There once was a Barmaid from Saille
On her back tattooed the prices of ale.
And on her behind, for the sake of the blind
was precisely the same but in braille.

Nymphomaniac Alice
Used a dynamite stick as a phallis.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her anus in Dallas.