There once was a young man named Gene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

There was a young girl from Hong Kong
Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell,
As a shot rang her bell,
“I’ll give you a ding for a dong!”

There was a hooker from Honchu
Who on peckers and penises did chew.
Said a friend, “Why don’t you
Have them stick it to you,
Then you could enjoy the sex too.”

They all had a friend, name of Lee,
Whose pecker hung down to his knee,
If he hadn’t a’ tied it,
The girls they’d all ride it,
And he never could use it to pee.

There was a young man from the Clyde
Who fell down a sewer and died
Next day his brother,
Fell down another
And now they’re interred side by side.