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There once was a man from Cheyenne
Of women, he was a fan
But they thought “Damn he’s fat!”
“I’m not touching that!”
So he had to rely on his hand.

A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie -
But I got a nice price for the pups.”

There once was a man from Sydney
Who could put it in up to her Kidney
But a man from Quebec
Put it up to her neck
Now he had a big one, didn’t he!

Meat-rationing did not terrify Miss Davey,
She got married to a sailor in the Navy,
For she knew between his legs
He had ham and he had eggs,
A big weenie, and oodles of white gravy.

They all had a friend, name of Lee,
Whose pecker hung down to his knee,
If he hadn’t a’ tied it,
The girls they’d all ride it,
And he never could use it to pee.



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