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I know that you’ll think me quite dotty,
But please, no caffeine in the latte!
One simple espresso –
I put on a dress, oh,
And really start acting quite naughty!

A thrifty old man named McEwing
Inquired, “Why be bothered with screwing?
It’s safer and cleaner
To finger your wiener,
And besides you can see what you’re doing.”

A certain young fellow from Ransome
Had a dame seven times in a hansom.
When she shouted for more,
Said he from the floor,
“The name, Miss, is Simpson, not Samson.”

To Stan, Ginger whined and then sighed
Her vibrator battery died
She got off instead
With ten minutes of head,
Then she gave Stan’s old willie a ride!

A broken-down lecher named Tupps
Was heard to confess in his cups:
“The height of my folly
Was diddling a collie –
But I got a nice price for the pups.”



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