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A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, “I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen’s Ball.”

He replied, “Highway patrolmen don’t have balls.”

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he’d just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left.

Q: What’s the most active muscle in a woman?

A: The penis.

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: “Stop! Stand
still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and
kill you.”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was
astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more
step a car will run over you and you will die.”
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
corner, barely missing him.
“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked… “And where were you when I got married?”

Q: How can you tell if a blond is a good cook?

A: She gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: Why don’t women have umbrellas?
A: Because it doesn’t rain in between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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