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Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
A: The invitation.

1. Redneck Quote: It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.

2. Redneck Quote: My cow died last night so I don’t need your bull.

3. Redneck Quote: Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.

4. Redneck Quote: Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining.

5. Redneck Quote: He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

6. Redneck Quote: He’s as country as cornflakes.

7. Redneck Quote: If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

8. Redneck Quote: Well butter my butt and call me biscuit.

9. Redneck Quote: It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.

10. Redneck Quote: She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.

11. Redneck Quote: This is gooder’n grits.

12. Redneck Quote: Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”

The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”

The Blonde said, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!”

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

Q: Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

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