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Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them. Mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she went into the family room to show her family they were impressed.
Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre,and your parrot on your shoulder, and look you even have a neat sack to carry your booty, but where are your buccaneers?
Says Mary, my buccaneers are under my buccanhat!

Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.
Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum.
Suzie asked, “You wanna play doctor?”
Johnny replied, “NO, that too old fashioned. Spit out you gum, I wanna play president.”

A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life.
He said, “You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to a nice ripe old age.”
So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96.
When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren

…and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.

“My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”

The bartender thought about this for a while. “But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?” asked the bartender.

” Yeah, except today is the last night.

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop

2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge

3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? : You CAN Tell the Difference!

6. If It’s Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I

7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won’t Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II

8. Going to the Supermarket: It’s Not Just for Women Anymore!

9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In

10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink

12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let’s Wash Those Towels!

13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You’re About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!

14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Goodwill

15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts

16. No, The Dishes Won’t Wash Themselves: Knowing the 4 Limitations of Your Kitchenware

17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!

18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What “Fourth Down and Ten” Means

19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut

20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don’t Fall Under the “Action/Adventure” Category or Selecting movies that don’t star John Wayne on television

21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

22. “I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!”: Why Women Laugh

23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let’s Clean the Closet

24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let’s Clean Under the Bed

25. “I Don’t Know”: Be the First Man to Say It!

26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

27. Directions: It’s Okay to Ask for Them

28. Listening: It’s Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn’t Mean You Can Fix It



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