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For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.

However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.”

Jake was on his deathbed.

His wife Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

“My darling Susan,” he whispered.

“Hush, my love,” she said. “Rest. Shhh. Don’t talk.”

He was insistent. “Susan,” he said in his tired voice. “I have something I must confess to you.”

“There’s nothing to confess,” replied the weeping Susan. “Everything’s all right, go to sleep .”

“No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I dated your sister and your best friend.”

“I know,” she replied. “That’s why I poisoned you.”

One day, Mr. Phillard rushed his pregnant wife over to the hospital. As the doctors were prepping his wife, Mr. Phillard’s idiot brother Bill arrived to watch the birth. But when Mr. Phillard saw the blood and everything else, he fainted. When Mr. Phillard woke up he was in a bed with the doctor standing above him.
“Mr. Phillard,” the doctor said, “you are in the recovery room. Don’t worry, your wife is fine and she had twins, a boy and a girl. Because you were unconscious and your wife was still under anaesthesia, she requested that your brother Bill name the kids.”
“What! My brother, the idiot! I can’t believe you let him! What did he name them?”
“He named your daughter Denise.”
“Hey, not bad! I underestimated my brother. What did he name my son?”
“He named your son Denephew.”

Q: What is gross stupidity?
A: 144 men in one room.



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