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Have you heard about the next “Survivor” show that is planned?
Mark Burnett, producer of “Survivor” plans to enlist 12 men, who will be dropped in an unidentified suburb with a van and six kids. Each child plays two sports and each takes music lessons or attends dance class. They have no access to fast food.
They must keep the house clean, assist with all homework (receiving at least a “C+” on all papers), complete one science project, cook and do laundry.
They have access to television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. None of the TV’s have remotes.
The competitions will consist of such things as:

PTA meetings
clean up after a sick child at 3:00 a.m
make an model Indian hut with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker
get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas take night classes
arrange for trustworthy childcare.

They will be allowed to organize one night out for themselves but they must plan 2 weeks in advance and find a sitter. The kids get to vote them off at tribal council.
The winner gets to go back to his job.

The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was
empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.”
“What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband.
“In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for
years. Now, it’s my turn.”

A woman was waiting in the check-out line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her actions and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in an extreme hurry and was not happy about the slowness of the line.

When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, “Well, I’ll be lucky to get out of here and home before Christmas!”

“Don’t worry, ma’am,” replied the clerk, “With that wind kicking up out there and that brand new broom you have there, you’ll be home in no time.”

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?

A: They’ve both swallowed a lot of semen.

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. “I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to a bum.”

“You gave a bum twenty whole dollars? That’s a lot of money to just give away. What did you husband say about it?”

“Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, ‘Thanks.’”

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