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Q: How do you know when a blonde’s been sending e-mail?
A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said: “Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

Q: A blonde, a brunette and a redhead jumped off of a tall building. Who took the longest to hit the ground?
A: The blonde because she had to stop and ask for directions!

Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.

Have you heard about the next “Survivor” show that is planned?
Mark Burnett, producer of “Survivor” plans to enlist 12 men, who will be dropped in an unidentified suburb with a van and six kids. Each child plays two sports and each takes music lessons or attends dance class. They have no access to fast food.
They must keep the house clean, assist with all homework (receiving at least a “C+” on all papers), complete one science project, cook and do laundry.
They have access to television only when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. None of the TV’s have remotes.
The competitions will consist of such things as:

PTA meetings
clean up after a sick child at 3:00 a.m
make an model Indian hut with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker
get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas take night classes
arrange for trustworthy childcare.

They will be allowed to organize one night out for themselves but they must plan 2 weeks in advance and find a sitter. The kids get to vote them off at tribal council.
The winner gets to go back to his job.

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