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Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own.

Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A: “Are you boys all in the same band?”

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good..

I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again.

I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So… here’s my check book and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this. further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause… Tag! You’re it!

There were 3 women, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde.
All three work together. Each day their boss leaves an hour earlier, while the 3 stay and clean up.
One day when the boss had gone the brunette lady said “It’s not fair we shouldn’t stay an hour longer, lets go.”
So they left.
The next day they all said what they did.
“I had a romantic dinner with my husband,” said the brunette lady.
“I went to the beach with my boyfriend,” said the red haired lady.
And the blonde said, “I nearly got caught by the boss, because I went home and she was in the shower with my husband, so I quickly went out of the house!”

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny’s hand shoots up. “Not correct, Miss!” he says.

“Please explain, Johnny,” replies the teacher. “Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbors’ Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went ‘ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!’ and before he could say ‘FUCK OFF!’, the dog ate him!”



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