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Q: What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman that won’t do what she’s told.

Q: Why won’t they hire a blonde pharmacist?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too.” Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can’t eat it?

5. When people say “It’s always in the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say (while watching a movie) “Did you see that?” No ASSHOLE, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the friggin ceiling up there.

7. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t really give me a choice there now did ya buddy?

8. When something is “new and improved”, which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then it must be of the first existing one!

9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole, you’re the one who fucking pulled me over!



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