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Q: Why did the blonde steal the police car?

A: She saw 911 and thought it was a porche.

In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?”

Little Stevie raised his hand and said “I would want gold, because gold is
worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.”

The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, “I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette”.

The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, “I would want silicon.” The teacher said, “Why Johnny?”

He responded by saying, “Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!!”

A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered. The salesman asked if his father was at home. Johnny said, “Yes.”

The salesman said, “Well, can I see him please?”

Johnny snickered and said, “No, he is in the shower.”

Then the salesman asked if his mother was at home. Johnny said, “Yes.”

The salesman said,” Well, can I see her?”

Johnny snickered again and said, “No, she’s in the shower too.”

The salesman then asked, “Do you think they will be out soon?”

Johnny laughed this time and said “No.”

The salesman asked why. “Well,” Johnny said, “When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him some super glue!”

A guy walked into the doctor’s surgery for an appointment. “Would you like to tell me your problem?” the pretty blonde receptionist asked. “I’ll need the information for the doctor.”

“It’s rather embarrassing,” the guy stammered. “You see, I have a very large and almost constant erection.”

“Well, the doctor is very busy today,” the receptionist cooed, “but maybe I can squeeze you in.”

Q: Why is an impotent man like a Christmas tree?

A: They both have balls for decoration

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