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Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, she always gets the son-in-law to do it.

One day a teacher was teaching religion, when she asked the class “What part of your body do you think goes up to heaven first?”
Two children rose their hand. One was little Johnny. Hesitant to pick on him she chose little Mary.
“I think your heart goes first because, that’s were your emotions of love are.”
“Very interesting.” replied the teacher. Seeing no one else had their hand raised but Johnny, she finally called on him.
“I think your feet go up first.”
Confused but relieved the teacher said, “Why is that?”
Johnny replied, “Once when I walked in my parents room I saw my dad on my mom, and she had her feet in the air saying “Oh God!”

Q: What do you call a pair of robbers?
A: A pair of knickers!

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?

A: Last year’s hide and seek champ.

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