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The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, “Can I stay here for a few days?”
I said, “Sure you can.” And shut the door in her face.

Q: How does a blond commit suicide?

A: Jumps out the basement window.

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
A. More leg-room!

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

I strongly recommended that you never criticise your wife. Just remember that if she were perfect, she would have married someone much better than you.

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