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Q: What should you say if he asks you “Am I your first”?

A: “You might be – you look familiar”

Q: What’s a man’s idea of helping to make the bed?

A: He gets out..

In the back woods of Kentucky, the rednecks wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.”

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Whoa there,” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s yet another one to come.”

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “No, no, don’t be in a hurry to be putting down that lantern. It seems there’s yet another one in there!” cried the doctor.

The Redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it’s the light that’s attractin’ ‘em?”

A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but doesn’t.

Next day the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again the bar tender wants to say something about the carrot but doesn’t.

The 3rd day the same guy and the same carrot go to the bar and order a drink. As the bar tender serves the man he can’t stand it any more. He says to the guy, “Hey Mack, you know you got a carrot in your ear?

The guy replies, “I can’t hear you because I’ve got a carrot in my ear.”

Q: Why is a man like a diaper?

A: Because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of shit.

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