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This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says “You’re not from round here are ya?”
“No” replied the man, “I’m from Pensylvania.” The bartender looks at him and syas “Well what do you do in Pensylvania?”
“I’m a taxidermist.” said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked “What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?” The man looked at the bartender and said “Well, I mount dead animals.”
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him “It’s okay, boys! He’s one of us!”

Q: Where do little fishes go every morning?
A: To plaice school!

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the
mirror. He asks, “What are you doing?”
She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts
of a 25 year old.”
The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?”
She replies, “Frankly dear, your name never came up.”

Every night, Joe would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rank. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time, he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.

The fourth night Joe didn’t drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Joe and left him in a heap on the living room floor.

The following day, Joe went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. “What can I do?” he pleaded.

“Not much” the doctor replied. “There’s just a nasty bug going around.”

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.

Q: How do you confuse her even more?

A: Ask her where she went.



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