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Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?

A: Her feet!

The teacher said, “Now class, we know their are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and 365 days in a year, so who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?”

All the kids looked baffled by the question except Jasper, who raised his hand and waved it excitedly.

“Yes, Jasper, how many seconds are there in a year?” the teacher asked.

“Twelve!” exclaimed Jasper.

“How on earth do you come up with that number?” asked the teacher.

Jasper explained, “Well, there’s January second, February second, March second…”

This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”

“Yo, Bob, I didn’t know you were into earrings.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” says Bob sheepishly.

“Really? How long have you been wearing one?”

“Ever since my wife found it in our bed.”

A poor little girl was begging in the street. A man passed by and the girl mumbled, “Please, sir, give me some money for a fix.”
The man answers, astonished, “Good heavens! But, how old are you, little girl?”
“I’m eight, sir.”
“Oh, my God, and how long have you been into drugs?”
“Since I was raped, sir, when I was four.”
“RAPED?! And who raped you, little girl?”
“I don’t remember, I was drunk.”

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