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Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn’t talk about his Mother’s cooking, and Eve couldn’t mention all the men she could/should have married.

Q: How do you know when you’ve satisfied a redhead?

A: She unties you.

The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss into allowing alcohol.

1. It’s an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don’t care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

15. If something does something stupid on the job, it will be quickly forgotten.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking when in walks a cowboy who yells, “Who’s white horse it that outside?”

The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns around and says, “It’s my horse. Why do you want to know?”

The cowboy looks at him and says, “Well, your horse is standing out there in the sun and he don’t look too good.”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto run outside and they see that Silver is in bad shape, suffering from heat exhaustion. The Loan Ranger moves his horse into the shade and gets a bucket of water.

He then pours some of the water over the horse and gives the rest to Silver to drink. It is then he notices that there isn’t a breeze so he asks Tonto if he would start running around Silver to get some air flowing and perhaps cool him down.

Being a faithful friend, Tonto starts running around Silver. The Lone Ranger stands there for a bit then realizes there is not much more he can do, so he goes back into the bar and orders another whiskey.

After a bit a cowboy walks in and says, “Who’s white horse is that outside?”

Slowly the Lone Ranger turns around and says, “That is my horse, what is wrong with him now?”

“Nothing,” replies the cowboy, “I just wanted to let you know that you left your Injun running.”

This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

The man says, “What was that for?”

His wife replies, “What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?”

He says, “Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on.”

The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes, and goes off do work around the house.

Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.

He angrily yells, “What the hell was that for this time?”

His wife replies, “Your horse called.”



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