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A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife, undoubtedly blonde, picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here,” and hung up.

The husband said “Who was that?”

The wife said “I don’t know, some lady wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

Q: What do you do if a blonde can’t start the car?
A: Give her the keys!!!!!!!!

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand.
“Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean?”
The little girl replies, “I love you.”
The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.

The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean.
A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.

The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUCK” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means.
A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, From Us Colored Kids!”.

She Was So Blonde That She:

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She told someone to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where is says “Sign here”, she wrote Sagittarius.
If she spoke her mind, she’d be speechless.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.
She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could use it at night.
When she saw the sign in front of the YMCA, she said, “Look! They spelled Macy’s wrong!”.
She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said “Concentrate”.

A farmer’s crop was ruined for the year and he was having no luck at all. Then he heard a voice, “If you build it they will come.” He thought nothing of it at first but then he heard it again, “If you build it they will come.” So the farmer thought and thought, prayed and prayed, until finally, he knew what to do. A few months later he completed construction of his new strip club!



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