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Q: What is pink and moist and split in the middle?
A: A grapefruit!

Then there is the joke about the guy who was told by his doctor that he has only 6 months to live. He decides to move in with his mother-in-law, because living with her for 6 months will seem like forever.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender for some drinks:

Brunette: “I’ll have a B and C.”

Bartender: “What is a B and C?”

Brunette: “Bourbon and Coke.”

Redhead: “And, I’ll have a G and T.”

Bartender: “What’s a G and T?”

Redhead: “Gin and tonic.”

Blonde: “I’ll have a 15.”

Bartender: “What’s a 15?”

Blonde: “7 and 7″

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A: I don’t know, there are some things even a blonde won’t do.

This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, “You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?”
She says, “I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old.” She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?”
She says, “Well, your name never came up.”



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