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A guy walks into a bar and notices a sign on the wall. It says “Ask about our special challenge”.

He asks the bartender what its all about.

The bartender says points to two large pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling about three and a bit yards up and says “If you can jump up and touch those pieces of meat then you can drink in this bar free for a year.

However if you don’t manage to reach them then you have to buy everyone here two rounds each.”

The guy thinks about it and muses it over.

He looks at the meat then at the barman then at the meat then looks at the barman and says “Nah, pal. The steaks are too high.”

Q: Why did the blonde write “TGIF” on her shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why did the blonde give up snorting coke?
A: Because the bottle was to hard to get up her nose.

AP Newswire

Tragedy occurred today in College Station, Texas when a Cessna 152 piloted by two Texas A&M graduate students crashed into a cemetery on their final approach to the College Station airport. At last report over three hundred bodies had been recovered by Texas A&M’s crack search and rescue team. A spokesperson for the rescue team indicated that recovery efforts would continue through the night. This reporter was impressed that the two students from the downed aircraft were aiding in recovery efforts.

I’ve come to ask for your daughters hand in marriage.
Well you’ll have to take the rest of her too or the deals off!

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