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Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde?

A: “I’m sooo drunk!”

Q: How do you get a man to do situps?
A: Glue the TV remote between his ankles…

Q: What do you call 17 blondes standing ear to ear.

A: A wind tunnel

“Christmas is almost on us,” said the teacher, and tomorrow I want all of you boys and girls to bring something to illustrate what Christmas is all about.
Next day, each pupil had brought something along. Little Sally was first. “I’ve brought a toy reindeer,” she said, “because Santa’s sleigh is pulled by reindeer.”
Then came George, who had brought a piece of the deodar tree from his garden.”This is what Christmas trees are made of,” he explained. Little Bruce had brought some wrapping paper, and Marcie brought a picture of a turkey. All of which the teacher praised, but expressed the wish that someone had used a bit more initiative, and also concentrated more on the spiritual aspects of Christmas.
Inevitably, Little Johnnie at the back of the class had had his hand up all the while, snapping his fingers, and hissing “Miss, Miss.” And as a last desperate resort she calls on him.
“Okay, Little Johnnie,” says teacher. “What have you brought.”
Proudly, Little Johnnie produces a set of ladies panties, which he twirls around his finger, high above his head, for all of the class to see.
“What are THOSE?” demands Teacher, as if she didn’t know.
“They’re girls’ panties, Miss.”
“I can see that, Johnnie. But what have they got to do with Christmas?”
“They’re Carol’s.”

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

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