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A coupla Aggies, Buck and Thurleen, married after graduating from
Texas A&M, are driving from Dallas down to a motel in Austin for their
honeymoon. Along the way, Buck reaches over and puts his hand on
Thurleen’s knee.

Thurleen smiles, blushes and says, “Oh Buck, we’re married now, you
can go farther than that!”

So he drove on to Laredo.

A construction worker walks into a bar. He’s a rather large, menacing guy. He orders a beer, chugs it back, and bellows, “All you guys on this side of the bar are a bunch of idiots!” A sudden silence descends.

After a moment he asks “Anyone got a problem with that?” The silence lengthens.

He then chugs back another beer and growls, “And all you guys on the other side of the bar are all scum!” Once again, the bar is silent.

He looks around belligerently and roars, “Anyone got a problem with that?” A lone man gets up from his stool unsteadily and starts to walk towards the man.

“You got a problem, buddy?”

“Oh no; I’m just on the wrong side of the bar.”

Q: What color is a hiccup?
A: Burple.

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride
if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will
never open. The bride agrees.

After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has
been left ajar. She peeks in and sees 3 golf balls and $6,000.

She confronts her mate with her findings, and asks for an
explanation. He explains “Every time I was unfaithful to you,
I put a golf ball in the drawer.”

She figures 3 times in 30 years isn’t bad. But what about the
$6,000? He explains “Whenever I got a dozen golf balls,
I sold ‘em!”

Once when Mary was young her school had a halloween party for them. Mary decided to go as a pirate after she had donned her costume she went into the family room to show her family they were impressed.
Mom said you look terrific mary you have your sabre,and your parrot on your shoulder, and look you even have a neat sack to carry your booty, but where are your buccaneers?
Says Mary, my buccaneers are under my buccanhat!



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