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A blond walks up to a river and says I wish I was 50% smarter so i can cross this river dam she turns into a redhead and swims across the river.
Then a redhead walks up to the river and says i wish i was 75% smarter so i could cross this river dam turns into a brunette and takes the ferry.
Next a brunette walks up to the river and says i wish i was 100% smarter so i could cross this river dam turns into a man and walks across the bridge.

A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, “Just remind her who wears the pants in your family.”
The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here put these on.”
She did and said “I don’t fit into these.”
“That’s right!” he said, “and don’t you forget who wears the pants in this family!”
With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”
He looked at them and said, “I can’t get into your panties!”
She said, “That’s right – and you won’t until your attitude changes!”

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.

The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says, “OOOOOhhh that looks like semen.” She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says “It feels like semen.”

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says “It smells like semen.”

The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, “It doesn’t taste like anyone in this building . . .”

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive redhead comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m bottomless.”
With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, “Momma needs a new pair of pants!”
She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. “YES!
I WIN! I WIN!”
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, “What did she roll anyway?”
The other answers, “I thought YOU were watching!”

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife pinched her on her butt and said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.”
While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, “You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.”
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
With a death grip in place she said, “You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother.”



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