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The waitress approached the blonde at table five, order pad in hand. “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” After placing the menu on the table, the blonde stated that she would like a glass of orange juice, some eggs, potatoes and toast.

“Great!” said the waitress, and in an attempt to upsell the blonde, asked, “Would you like some bacon with that today?”

“No, thanks,” replied the blonde, “I don’t eat pork …but you know what? I WOULD like an order of sausages, please.”

Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A: Introduces them self.

Q: Why does a blond wear a tight skirt
A: To keep here legs closed

A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house.

A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.

She did this several times and the neighbor that was watching her said, “You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box.”

“No,” the blonde answered, “I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail!”

Q: What is the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead blond in the road?

A: There’s skid marks before the snake

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