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Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.

Q: Why did the blonde quit using birth control pills?
A: They kept falling out.

A blond guy visits the hospital. “I want to be castrated!” he demands cheerfully.

“Are you sure about this?” the doctor asks. “Have you discussed it with your wife?”

“Yes, yes! I’ve thought about this for a long time. Let’s get it over with!”

So, the operation is performed. Since it’s relatively simple, the blond guy only has to stay in the hospital for two days. On his way home, he meets a friend.

“Well, hello! I haven’t seen you for a couple of days,” his friend says.

“No, I’ve been to the hospital,” replies the blond.

“Well, that’s funny. I’m on my way there right now!”

“Really? So, what’s up?”

“I’m going to be vaccinated.”

“Oh, SHIT!! That’s what it’s called!”

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, “I’m going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy.”

Not to be outdone, Britney rips a $1000 bill in half and throws it out the window saying, “Look, I just made two people really happy.”

Not even noticing Britney’s stupid move, Christina brags, “Look, I’m going to throw 1000 $1 bills out the window and make a lot more people a little happier.”

At this point, the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can’t stand it anymore, comes out and says, “I think I’ll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy!”

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: You pick them up, throw them in the gutter, and they come back for more

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