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Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?

A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, “I’m going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.”

She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, “It looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones.”

She replied, “You mean it shows that, too?”

Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?
A: He didn’t know where to buy Left Guard!

The waitress approached the blonde at table five, order pad in hand. “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” After placing the menu on the table, the blonde stated that she would like a glass of orange juice, some eggs, potatoes and toast.

“Great!” said the waitress, and in an attempt to upsell the blonde, asked, “Would you like some bacon with that today?”

“No, thanks,” replied the blonde, “I don’t eat pork …but you know what? I WOULD like an order of sausages, please.”

Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A: Introduces them self.



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