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Q: Why did God give every blonde two more brain cells than a cow?

A: So they don’t moo-moo when you pull on their titties.

A blonde walked into a doctor’s office with a hole in her hand. The doctor told her that he had to report all gunshot wounds, and this was an obvious gunshot wound, so would she please explain how it happened?
The blonde said, “Well, to be honest with you, I was trying to commit suicide, so first I stuck the gun in my mouth, but thought, wait a minute, I just had all that bridge work done, and I don’t want to ruin it. So, I pointed the gun between my eyes, and then thought, wait a minute, I just got a nose job not too long ago, and I don’t want to ruin it! Then I pointed the gun at my heart, and thought, wait a minute, I just had these boobs done, and I don’t want to ruin them! So then I stuck the gun in my ear, and thought, wait a minute, this is going to be loud!”

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. The blonde says, “I hate all the blonde jokes people say.”

“Oh, they are only jokes. There are alot of stupid people out there. Here I’ll prove it to you,” replies her brunette friend.

So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver.

“Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if I’m home,” said the brunette.

The taxi drove them and when they finally got out the brunette looked at the blonde and said, “See that guy was really stupid.”

“No kidding,” replies the blonde.” There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead.”

Q: Why did God create blondes?

A: Because sheep can’t bring beer from the fridge.

Q. What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!



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