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Barbecue – It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is put into motion.

1. The woman goes to the store.
2. The woman fixes the salad, vegetables and dessert.
3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
4. The man places the meat on the grill.
5. The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
7. The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
8. The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
10. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”, and upon seeing her annoyed reaction concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”
The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!”
The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, “Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

John received a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. “I’ve got a problem,” said Buffy.
“What’s the matter?” asked John.
“Well, I’ve bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can’t find any edges.”
“What’s the picture of?” asked John.
“It’s of a big Rooster,” replied Buffy.
“All right,” said John, “I’ll come over and have a look.”
So he went over to Buffy’s house and Buffy greeted him saying, “Thanks for coming over.”
Buffy lead John into her kitchen and showed him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. John looked at the jigsaw and then turned to Buffy and said, “For Pete’s sake – put the Corn Flakes back in the Box.”

Q: What do Marriage and a Tornado have in common?
A: Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking, and then next thing you know your house is gone!

Pass My Shotgun

Psychotic Mood Shift

Perpetual Munching Spree

Puffy Mid Section

People Make Me Sick

Provide Me with Sweets

Pardon My Sobbing

Pimples May Surface

Pass My Sweatpants

Pathetic Mood Syndrome

Plainly; Men Suck

Pack My Stuff

Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

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