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Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man. The man was screaming, “Help me! Help me!”
Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!

Husband: “Want a quickie?”
Wife: “As opposed to what?”

My wife and I are into S & M

She Sleeps and I masturbate

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.

“Pull the pin like a hand grenade,” he explained, “then depress the trigger to release the foam.”

Later a blonde employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, “Like a hand grenade, remember?”

In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin …. and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?

A: Gifted



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