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Q: How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer?
A: There’s white out on the screen and lipstick on the joystick!

While making love to his wife, Carl discovered he couldn’t enjoy it. Though they had been married only a few years, he relflectly unhappily, their love-making had become infrequent and bland. Then quite suddenly, alarmed, he said: “What happened, did I hurt you?”
“Why no, not at all,” said his surprised wife. “Whatever made you ask that?”
“Well, no reason actually,” the bored husband replied with a sigh, “It’s just that for a moment there, I thought you actully moved.”

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

A. Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

Bill had just returned from a week of honeymooning, and his best friend asked him how it went.

“The first night we did it nine times,” Bill said. “The second night, eight times. The third night, seven times. The fourth night, six times. The fifth night, five times. The sixth night, four times, and the last night, nothing!”

“Nothing?” his pal asked. “How come?”

“Hey, you ever tried putting a marshmallow in a parking meter?”

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout.

The cashier asks, “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”

The nine-year-old replies “Nope, not for my mom.”

Without thinking, the cashier responded “Well, they must be for your sister then?”

The nine year old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.”

The cashier had now become curious “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister? Who are they for?”

The nine year old says, “They’re for my four year old little brother.”

The cashier is surprised “Your four year old little brother?”

The nine year old explains: “Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!”

© 2015