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Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side?
A: He didn’t know where to buy Left Guard!

Marriage Anon is a club for bachelors. If any is tempted to marry, they send my mil over in curlers and dressing gown.

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

The waitress approached the blonde at table five, order pad in hand. “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” After placing the menu on the table, the blonde stated that she would like a glass of orange juice, some eggs, potatoes and toast.

“Great!” said the waitress, and in an attempt to upsell the blonde, asked, “Would you like some bacon with that today?”

“No, thanks,” replied the blonde, “I don’t eat pork …but you know what? I WOULD like an order of sausages, please.”

Q: What’s the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A: Introduces them self.

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