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As a young, modern virgin of the nineties, you no doubt have many questions concerning romance, love, even s..e..x. In this
sensitive and frank “question and answer” format, noted sex therapist Dr Ruth explains everything you’ve ever wondered about.

Q: Where can I find the man of my dreams?
A: This is a difficult question, since every virgin probably has a different ideal of what their own personal Prince Charming
should act and look like. However, when it comes to finding Mr Right, I can give
you a good suggestion on where to start – and that’s in a bar. That’s
right, go to a bar… preferably the kind that smells of stale beer and
lots of men crowded around watching a sports event on television. Pick a
man that looks interesting – it’s best to stay away from the shallow
“pretty boys” in designer clothes with bulging muscles. Instead, I
recommend you pick somebody a little older and wiser, possibly
reassuring pot belly. Boldly approach him, offer to buy him a few beers,
then invite him back to your place. He’ll advise you from there.

Q: How do I know if I found Mr Right?
A: Unfortunately, there’s no sure way to tell. Therefore, I suggest you try out many different kinds of men and many different
kinds of bars.

Q: Do men like aggresive virgins?
A: Definitely. Although they don’t admit it, men are often shy – so it’s
up to you to be bold. In addition to bars, don’t be afraid to approach
men on streetcorners, in restaurants, even in restrooms. Break the ice
with simple “hello”, followed by an offer to buy them dinner, drinks –
even an expensive gift. Then invite them to back to your place.

Q: What if a man’s married?
A: Go for it. This is a great opportunity to enjoy the valuable
experience a married man possesses, without being tied down by any sort
of commitment.

Q: But what if I fall in love with a married man?
A: This is a tough one, especially if you’re a woman and find yourself
pregnant. Ask him how he feels about his wife and family. If he says his
wife doesn’t understand him and he’s thinking of leaving her, believe
him and continue your relationship, secure in the knowledge that he’ll
soon make good his promise. Married men rarely lie about such important
matters.

Q: How do I know if I’m ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He’ll know when the time is right. When it comes
to love and sex, experienced men are much more responsible, since
they’re not confused emotionally as virgins. It’s a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to
remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question.
Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at
first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural and normal part of nature, so don’t feel ashamed or
embarrassed. After your man has finished making love, he’ll have a
natural desire to leave you suddenly, and go out with his friends to
play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his
friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol
and sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don’t feel left
out – while he’s gone you can busy yourself by doing his laundry,
cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an
expensive gift. He’ll come back when he’s ready.

Q: What is “afterplay”?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly
energy. “Afterplay” is simply a list of important activities for you to
do after the lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making
him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone
to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many virgins believe that quality, not quantity, is
important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male
penis measures about six centimeters. Anything longer than that is
extremely rare and, if by some chance your lover’s sexual organ is seven
centimeters or over, you should go down on your knees and thank you
lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his
laundry, cleaning his apartment and buying him an expensive gift.

Q: What about the orgasm?
A: What about it? There’s no such thing. It’s a myth.

Q: Are you sure?
A: Will you stop asking so many questions? Do you distrust experienced
men or something? Instead, prove how much you care for your boyfriend by
going out and buying him an expensive gift.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don’t. They’re born that way.

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could get used to that.

And another thing; before you hibernate,
you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.
That wouldn’t bother me either.

If you’re a mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business;
you swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.

You get to have all the mating
you want before you hibernate;
sleep during the birth of the cubs,
and not have any stretch marks.

Your husband expects you to growl
when you wake up.
He expects you to have hairy legs
and excess body fat.
And he finds that sexy.

It was the blonde’s first day at her new job as a cashier at the local grocers.

When checking out with just a few items, a customer placed one of those order dividers, that they keep by the cash register, between his things and the items from the woman behind him in line so they wouldn’t get mixed.

After the blonde had scanned all of his items, she picked up the divider and began looking it carefully over.

Obviously, she had been looking for a barcode and upon not finding one, she asked, “Do you know how much this is?”

Q: Why did the blonde steal the police car?

A: She saw 911 and thought it was a porche.



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