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As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!”

Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, “I… I… I didn’t pinch that girl!”

“Of course you didn’t,” said his wife, consolingly. “I did.”

Q: Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be Hell!

Q: How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?
A: Who cares?

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him.
The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude, the young man said to her, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20, on one condition.”
Flabbergasted, the woman asked, “What is the condition?”
The young man replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, reached into her purse and slowly counted out four $5 bills, which she pressed into the young man’s hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, meaningfully said…
“Clean my house.”

A man complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful house,a
big car, the love of a beautiful woman… then… pow!… it was all
“What happened?” asked the friend.
“Ahhhh… my wife found out… “

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