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This husband and wife are staying in a hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed. However, as soon as they settled down, the man (not quite ready for slumber) leans over and whispers softly, “Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn’t quite ready for bye-byes yet.”
The wife takes the hint and says, “OK, but I have to use the bathroom first.” So off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.
Her husband jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone “Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?”
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts “Clumsy bitch.”

Q: What are the two worst things about your Mother-in-Law?
A: Her faces.

A blonde is visiting Washington, DC. This is her first time to the city, so she wants to see the capitol building. Unfortunately, she can’t find it, so she asks a police officer for directions. “Excuse me, officer,” the blonde says, “How do I get to the capitol building?”

The officer says, “Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It’ll take you right there.”

The blonde thanks the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer comes back to the same area, and sure enough the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop. The officer gets out of his car and says, “Excuse me, but to get to the capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?”

The blonde says, “Don’t worry, officer, it won’t be long now. The 45th bus just went by!”

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.”

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot now, so you can follow me over to K-Mart next.”

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A. Frosted Flakes



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