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Q: What’s a Jewish American Princess’s idea of kinky sex?
A: She moves.

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend is frigid?
A: When you open her legs the lights go on

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”
The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”
Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“Nope, sure ain’t,” said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”
The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

A: Spot.

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple
go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all
showered and wearing her beautiful robe.
The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you
can open your robe.”
The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is
astonished. “Oh, oh, aaahhh,” he exclaims, “My God you
are so beautiful, let me take your picture.”
Puzzled she asks, “my picture?”
He answers, “yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next
to my heart forever.”
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into
the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the
new wife asks, “why do you wear a robe? We are married now.”
At that the man opens his robe and she exclaimes, “oh, oh, my,
let me get a picture.”
He beams and asks, “why?”
She answers, “so I can get it enlarged!”



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