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Q: What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: A hundred dollar bill.

There was a mature gentleman wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals, “Crisco, Cris–co!”

Finally a store clerk approached. “Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five.”

“Oh,” replied the old gentleman, “I’m not looking for cooking Crisco, I am calling my wife.”

“Your wife is named Crisco?”

“Nah,” he answered, “I only call her that when we come to the supermarket.”

“Oh? What do you call her when you are not in the supermarket?”

“Lard ass.”

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

A: It is the one with the kickstand.

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the husband replied, “In-laws.”

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

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