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Q: What do you call a woman without an asshole?
A: Divorced.

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline!

A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
The girlfriend asked, “Do you talk to your husband when you’re making

She thought about it a minute then said, “Well, no. But I could. I
mean he has a cell phone and all now.”

Q: What do blondes say after sex?

A: “Are you boys all in the same band?”

Betty and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying he’d invited four friends from the office home for dinner on Friday.

Betty, a blonde, is a bit apprehensive as she asks if she must cook a meal for them all. Bob explains that there will actually be eight coming, as each has a spouse or date. Since this is her first party, he consoles her by saying that all she has to do is order in some Chinese food and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea and they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get.

Friday morning, Betty calls Bob’s office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.

Her hubby says, “Why don’t you just double the recipe?”

She decides that is a good idea.

At four, hubby gets another phone call — this time quite frantic. “I just can’t do it,” his wife weeps. “It’s impossible.”

“Now, now, what’s the matter?”

“Well, the recipe calls for two eggs.”

“So, you use FOUR eggs. Don’t you have them?”

“Yes — then it needs 4 cups of flour.”

“Well,” Bob says rather testily, “You will have to use 8 cups of flour — what is the problem?”

“It isn’t the ingredients,” Betty cries, “It says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the oven and I can’t turn the heat up to 700 degrees!”

© 2015