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Q: How do you drownd a blonde?
A: You place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.”
“Oh Dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief, “But what happened to your other ear?”
“The son of a bitch called back.”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were sitting around trying to compare their boyfriends to brands of pop. The redhead said, “My boyfriend’s like 7-Up. He’s seven inches long and he’s always up.”
The brunette said, “My boyfriend’s like Mountain Dew. He loves to do it in the mountains all the time.”
The blonde said, “My boyfriend’s like Jack Daniels.”
The brunette cut in, “You can’t use Jack Daniels. That’s a hard liquor.”
A smile crossed the blonde’s face. “I know.”

Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage?

A: Just one… mine!

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society….

DIRECTRA – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA – Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA – Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks – especially cleaning up spills and “little accidents.”

COMPLIMENTRA – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store’s return limit.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA – This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLATULAGRA – This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.

FLYAGRA – This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).

PRYAGRA – About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into women.

LIAGRA – This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their love lives. Will be available Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.



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