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Jon left for a two day business trip to Chicago. He was only a
few blocks away from his house when he realized he’d left his
plane ticket on top of his dresser.

He turned around and headed back to the house. He quietly
entered the door, walked into the kitchen. He saw his wife
washing the breakfast dishes, wearing her skimpiest negligee.

She looked so good that he tiptoed up behind her, reached out,
and squeezed her left tit.

“Leave only one quart of milk,” she said. “Jon won’t be here for
breakfast tomorrow.”

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. “As God is my judge, I do not owe my
ex-wife any money.”

Glaring down at him, the judge replied, “He’s not. I am. You do.”

Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes?

A: It had a penis and a brain!

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?

A: The back of her head.

She was soooooo blonde, she took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.



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