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Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
1. No mind
2. No business.

Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blondes eyes?
A: Put a flashlight in her ear.

Adjusting to marriage sometimes poses some unexpected problems. But
when I came upon a friend of mine in a bar the night after his
wedding, I had ask exactly what he was doing there instead of with his
new bride.

“Well, you see, this morning when I got up,” he said, “I was barely
awake from a wonderful night of love-making. More out of habit than
anything else, I put a fifty dollar bill on the dresser.”

I told him not to worry about it, that his new wife probably wouldn’t
even think anything of it; that he could always say he left her some
spending money.

“No no!” he half wailed/half said, “You don’t understand. She was
half asleep too and gave me $30 change.”

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

A blonde and brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect; 3-piece suit, great build with a nice butt, the bad part is they both noticed he had dandruff. The man got off on the 5th floor. Once the doors closed the brunette turned to the blonde and said, “Someone should give him ‘Head & Shoulders.’”

To which the blonde replied, “How do you give ‘Shoulders’?”

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