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Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?
A: It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in.

When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

“Uh, I hadn’t really thought about it.” replied the stunned surgeon. “You’re the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy.”

Q: Why do men have a hole in their penis?
A: So they can think with an open mind.

This story is about an elderly couple, sitting together watching television.
During one of those commercials, the husband asked his wife, “Whatever happened to our sexual relations?”
After a long thoughtful silence, the wife replied during the next commercial, “You know, I don’t know. I don’t even think we got a Christmas card from them this year!”

Yesterday scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed eight pints of beer each within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men:

1. Gained weight
2. Talked excessively without making sense
3. Became overly emotional
4. Couldn’t drive
5. Failed to think rationally
6. Argued over nothing
7. Had to sit down while urinating
8. And refused to apologize when obviously wrong

No further testing was considered necessary.

© 2015