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Q: Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren’t admitted!

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing.

So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out.

When she reached her destination, she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.

Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “Uh, Ma’am, there’s no fish in there.”

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there.

So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there.

So she looks up and see’s a man looking down at her. “How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says, “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink.”

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don’t. They’re born that way.

Q: How many blonds does it take to make Chocolate Chip Cookies?
A: 5, 1 to mix the batter and 4 to squeeze the rabbit.

One day a five year old little girl excitedly approached her mother, and announced that she had learned where babies come from. The mother was amused and said, “Oh really sweetie, why don’t you tell me all about it?”

The little girl then explained, “Well … the mommy and daddy take off all of their clothes and the daddy’s wiener stands way up high and the mommy kneels on the floor and puts the daddy’s wiener in her mouth, and then the daddy’s wiener sort of explodes and makes sticky juice into the mommy’s mouth, and then the mommy swallows the sticky juice, and that’s where babies come from.”

The mother looked lovingly at her daughter, leaned over to meet her eye to eye and said, “Oh honey, that’s sweet, but that’s not where babies come from … that’s where jewelry comes from.”

© 2015