Joke's Database
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. “Oh darling” he gushed, “Come here… let me look at you… let me hold you! Let’s have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I’ve missed your lovin’ so much!”
The wife, keeping her distance, said, “All in good time lover. First, let’s hear you play that harmonica.”

Q. What’s a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme

A blonde was in Vegas vacationing with friends. She was standing in front of the candy machine and put two coins in, turned the knob and a candy bar fell out.

She picked up the candy bar and put it in her pocket, then she proceeded to put two more coins into the slot and turned the knob, again a candy bar fell out and she put it in her pocket.

She put two more coins into the machine and again turned the knob producing yet another candy bar.

A man was watching from a short distance away and walked up to her. He said, “Excuse me Miss? What are you doing?”

She said, “Duh! I’m winning here!”

Three women are stranded on an island. One woman tripped over something. She looks down and sees a lamp. The girls rub the lamp and to their astonishment, a Genie pops out.
“I will grant you 3 wishes, but since there of three of you, you will each get one wish.”
The first girl says, “I want to be strong enough to swim to shore.” The Genie snapped his fingers, and the girl set out. Not 15 feet off the island, a shark came and ate her.
The second girl says, “I want to be skilled enough to create something that will get me off the island.” With that, the Genie snapped his fingers, giving the girl some logs and string, and she made a raft and set out. When she was 15 feet off shore, the tide grew strong, and the raft capsized, killing her.
The third girl thought long and hard, when finally she came up with her wish. “I wish to be smart enough to find a way off the island.” The Genie snapped his fingers, and she turned into a man and took the bridge.

A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office. The wife says, “I want a tooth pulled. Don’t use gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”

“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth is it.”

The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”

© 2015