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The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off. She goes bitching to Little Johnny’s father. She comes to Little Johnny’s house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard.
She walks in the house and screams to his father “Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now… now he’s being carnal with a goat in the front yard!”
Little Johnny’s father goes running out the door yelling, “Son of a bitch! Today is my turn!”

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.
Jimmy’s hand shoots up. “Not correct, Miss!” he says.
“Please explain, Jimmy,” replies the teacher.
“Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbours’ Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went “ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!”, and before he could say “FUCK OFF!”, the dog ate him!”

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, “Good morning son.”

“Good morning pastor” replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. “Sir, what is this?” Johnny asked.

“Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service,” replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.

Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, “Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?”

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?”

Grandpa looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not.”

“But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny.

Grandpa replies, “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write to.”

Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one pupil starts drawing on the board, then one by one, other pupils add to it. She thinks, and decides not to start with Johnny, because he is so naughty and always has some “unusual” picture in mind. So she starts with Jane, who draws on the chalk board. Jane: “This is a house.”

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The teacher: “Good, Jane!” and asks Peter to draw next. Peter: “This is the front door to the house.”

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The teacher: “Very good, Peter” and calls Mary. Mary: “This is snow on the roof of the house.”

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The teacher: “Very nice, Mary” and calls on Stevie. Stevie: “And this is the sun over the house.”

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