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Little Johnny’s father sat down next to him on the couch one day and said, “Okay, Johnny, once there was this big, black rooster, and it was sitting on a fence post. How many wings does the rooster have?”

Johnny replied, “It has two.”

Little Johnny’s father then asked, “How many eyes does the rooster have?”

Johnny replied, “It has two.”

Little Johnny’s father then asked, “Well then, how many legs do you think the rooster had?”

Johnny replied, “It has two, daddy.”

So then, Little Johnny’s daddy said, “Well then, a big white cat walks up to where the big black rooster is standing on the fence post and opens its mouth to hiss at the rooster. How many teeth does the cat have?”

Little Johnny scratched his head and replied, “I don’t know daddy, how many teeth does the cat have?”

Little Johnny’s daddy grabbed him by the arm and exclaimed, “Alright boy, how come you know so much about big black cock and so little about white pussy?”

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do and all the kids are restless. The teacher says, “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.”
Little Johnny says to himself, “Good, I want to get outta here I’m smart and will answer the question”.
The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’? Before Johnny could open his mouth, Joya said, “Abraham Lincoln”. The teacher said, “That’s right Joya. You can go”.
Johnny was MAD.
The teacher asked, “Who said, ‘I Have a Dream’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, “Martin Luther King”. “That’s right Mary. You can go”.
Johnny was even MADDER than before.
The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Marol said, “John Kennedy”. “That’s right Marol. You can go”.
Johnny was BOILING MAD.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, “I wish these women would keep their mouths shut”.
The teacher asked, “WHO SAID THAT?”
Johnny said, “BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?”

Teacher asks the children to discuss what their Dad’s do for a living.
Little Mary says: “My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail.”
Little Jack says: “My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better.”
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
Teacher says: “Johnny, what does your Dad do?”
Johnny says: “My Dad is dead.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?”
“He turned blue and shat on the carpet.”

Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes running into the room wondering what’s going on. He tells his mother “Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better.”
“Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday.” His mother says.

Little Johnny is sitting, being his cool self in the local park. Along comes Suzi chomping on her piece of gum. “Hey Johnny, wanna play doctor?”
Johnny lets out a puff of smoke, “Nah, that’s too old fashioned.”
Johnny takes another drag, “Spit out your gum, I wanna play PRESIDENT!”

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