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Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?
A: In snow banks.

Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that “Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the difference between boys and girls,” and would his mother, “please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this.”
So johnny’s mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom,and closes the door.
- first, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse.
So he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.
- ok, now take off my skirt…
And he takes off her skirt.
- now take off my bra.
Which he does.
- and now, Johnny, please take off my panties.
And when Johnny finishes removing those, she says, “Johnny, PLEASE don’t wear any of my clothes to school any more!”

Q: What letters are not in the alphabet?
A: The ones in the mail, of course!

Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. These are great:

As you shall make your bed so shall you… mess it up.

Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the… bug is close.

It’s always darkest before… daylight savings time.

Never underestimate the power of… termites.

You can lead a horse to water but… how?

Don’t bite the hand that… looks dirty.

No news is… impossible.

A miss is as good as a… Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new… math.

If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll… stink in the morning.

Love all, trust… me.

The pen is mightier than the… pigs.

An idle mind is… the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke, there’s… pollution.

Happy the bride who… gets all the presents!

A penny saved is… not much.

Two’s company, three’s… the Musketeers.

Don’t put off tomorrow what… you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and… you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as… Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.

If at first you don’t succeed… get new batteries.

You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind… get out of the way.

There is no fool like… Aunt Eddie.

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