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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, “‘Bout what?”

Q: How do you know the Toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
A: Because it would have been named a Teethbrush if someone else had.

Q: How can you tell if a redneck is married?
A: There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

Name: ________________
(_) Billy-Bob (last)
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)

Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Unemployed

Spouse’s Name: __________________________

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___

Mother’s Name: _______________________
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed

Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest

___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: (_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don’t know

* your spreader bar says “Smith & Wesson” down the side.

* your bondage rope has axle grease stains.

* you named your dog the same name as your submissive, so you could remember both of their names.

* your nipple clamps look suspiciously like the clamps for your jumper cables.

* you can’t suspend your sub from the ceiling because she weighs more than the load capacity for your trailer.

* your sub accidently screams out the names of your brothers Bubba, Billy, and Bobby before she remembers yours in a moment of passion.

* you use the hood of the El Camino on blocks in your front yard as a bondage table.

* you require you submissive to wipe the rim of your Budweiser bottle with her sleeve before she kisses it to serve you.

* you fix the squeaking headboard with duct tape.

* you can only give 10 swats at a time because you want to count the strokes and don’t want to take your work boots off.

* your submissive makes a dentist appointment and you’re afraid it might mean she is looking for a new dom.

* you decide to surprise your submissive with an extra special location for her collaring, so you take her to Graceland.

* you accidently get your submissive with your belt buckle during a whipping, and it leaves a Budweiser logo imprint on her ass.



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