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Rednecks don’t let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks, “Where did you get that?”
The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!”

Definitions of Canadian Redneck (ca’na’dian’-red’neck’),n.
1. Disparaging Canadian, mainly found in the Canadian provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan and western Manitoba.
2. An uneducated, Canadian farm laborer.
3. Also known as a Hick or Yokel.
4. A cousin of the southern U.S. redneck, but no relation to the Canadian Newfie

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods. All of a sudden, one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
“Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard an answering, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”
He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about. Was the other Indian crazy or what?
“No,” said the Indian. “It is our custom during mating season. When Indian men see cave, they holler, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there is a girl in there waiting to mate.”
Just then they saw another cave. The Indian ran up to the opening of the cave, stopped, and hollered, “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” Immediately, there was an answering “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!” from deep inside the cave. He tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.
The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then he came upon a great big cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, “Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!” He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might “Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!”
He grinned and closed his eyes in anticipation, and then he heard the answering call, “WOOOOOOOOO!WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!”
With a gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the Local Newspaper read, “NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN”



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