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You know you’re drunk when…
Published: 1 week ago     submited by
Related: Bar (+1637)     
         

• You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

• You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

• Job interfering with your drinking.

• Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

• Career won’t progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.

• The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

• Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.

• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case – coincidence? – I think not!

• Two hands and just one mouth… – now THAT’S a drinking problem!

• You can focus better with one eye closed.

• The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

• Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

• Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

• Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you

• At AA meetings you begin: “Hi, my name is… uh…”

• Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

• You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. – hmm.

• The whole bar says ‘Hi’ when you come in…

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