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Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky: “Hey, you don’t sweat much for a fat broad.”

A married couple, each 60 years old, was celebrating their 40 year wedding anniversary, and during the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each.

Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for her and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.

The fairy godmother waved her wand and -boom!- the wife had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband’s turn and the fairy godmother assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart’s desire.

He paused for a moment, then said, “Well, honestly, I’d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.”

The fairy godmother picked up her wand and -boom!- he was 90!!

Don’t you just love fairy godmothers!

This snow plow driver from North Dakota got married. He and his new
Bride prepared for their wedding nite. He watched for a while as she
spread three different kinds of creams and then a white foam in
preparation for their love making. She finally announced that she was
ready. The man then asked if she still had that string of pearls
necklace that he admired so much.

She replied, “Well, yes darling, I do. But what in the world would you
need it for at a time like this?

He looked again at all her “preparations” and replied, “Ain’t no way
I’m gonna try to go into a mess like that without chains.”

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: No one knows. Its never happened.

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”

Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”

An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”

A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”



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