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Frank, Judy’s husband, is drowning. The lifeguard swims out, drags him in, puts him on the edge of the shore, and starts pumping his arms, and out comes fish and clams and seaweed and …

Judy comes walking along and says, “Hey, you better get that asshole out of the water – you’re gonna empty the ocean!”

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting.
Bernie turns to Marv and says, “Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too.”
Marv smiles and says, “Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?”
Bernie says, “You’ll going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?”
Marv grins again, “Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…”
“Yes, yes, that’s it!” cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife…
“Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?”

Q: Why don’t blondes breast feed their babies?

A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples.

It’s the first day of school and the teacher told her kindergarten class, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, you should hold up two fingers.”
After a moment of quiet thought, Little Johnny asked: “How will that help?”

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: “If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.”

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot now, so you can follow me over to K-Mart next.”

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