Joke's Database
     
Have fun searching 100181 jokes and pictures!


I have never made a fool of my mother-in-laws, I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.

Q: What’s the difference between a hillbilly wedding and a hillbilly funeral?
A: There’s one less drunk at the funeral.

Three guys are out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.

Now one of the guys just doesn’t believe it, and says, “Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ.”

The mermaid says, “Done.” Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight.

The second guy is so amazed, he says to the mermaid, “Triple my IQ.”

The mermaid says, “Done.” The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists in various fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes that his friends that he says to the mermaid, “Quintuple my IQ.”

The mermaid looks at him and says, “You know, I don’t usually try to change people’s minds when they make a wish, but really wish that you would reconsider.”

The guy says, “No, I want you to increase my IQ times five, and if you don’t do it, I won’t set you free.”

“Please,” says the mermaid, “You don’t understand what you’re asking, it will change your entire view on the universe. Won’t you ask for something else….a million dollars, anything?”

But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his IQ increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, “Done.”

And he became a woman!

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife, undoubtedly blonde, picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here,” and hung up.

The husband said “Who was that?”

The wife said “I don’t know, some lady wanting to know if the coast is clear.”

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?
A: A space invader.



© 2015 ijokedb.com