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Q: What did the bat say to his girlfriend?

A: “You’re fun to hang around with.”

Q: What did the letter say to the stamp?

A: You send me.

Q: What is the perfect breakup gift to give to someone for valentines day?
A: A copy of the book sex for dummies.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed “guess who”?

A: A divorce lawyer.

“I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine’s day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it’s these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.”

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