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Q: What is a vampire’s Valentine called?

A: His ghoul-friend!

Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?

A: “I dot my i’s on you!”

Q: What does an envelope say when you lick it?

A: Nothing, it shuts up.

* Don’t tell your partner about that perfect present you almost bought.
* Don’t give the same Valentine’s card you gave your partner last year.
* Don’t buy the wrong size/brand of anything.
* Don’t forget to wear clean underwear.
* Don’t tell your date you forgot your wallet… again.
* Don’t leave your date alone with your parents, room mates or pet.
* Don’t buy your partner household appliances for Valentine’s Day.
* Don’t give your partner an engagement ring that was meant for someone else.

Q: What did one pickle say to the other?
A: “You mean a great dill to me.”

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