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Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You’re such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?

You’ve been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We’d make a perfect Pear.

Now, something’s sure to Turnip,
To prove you can’t be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let’s let our tulips meet.

Don’t Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato’s eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.

I’ll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I’ll work and share my Celery,
So be my valentine.

Screw valentines day,
Hearts and roses and kisses galore.
What the hell is all that shit for?

People get mushy and start acting queer.
It it definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid’s ass!

I’ll spend the day so drunk I can’t speak,
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Girls act all sweet, but it will soon fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid!

The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a crock of shit.

So here’s my story. . . what else can I say?
Love Bites my ass. . .
Screw Valentine’s Day!

Q: Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

A: It was Valenswine’s Day!

Q: Did adam and eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they dad an apple.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?

A: I’m stuck on you.



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