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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”

“But why?” asks the man.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?

A: You get buttered up.

Q: What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
A: Hogs and Kisses!

Q: What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?

A: A hug and a quiche!

Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

A: Because it’s all heart.



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