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Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

Roses are red and Violets are blue,
I didn’t buy you anything
’cause to be honest,
I really don’t like you.

You used to give me,
candy and sweets,
you used to dress sexy,
as a special treat.

Now all I get is a complaint
or some gripe.
I liked you much better
before you were my wife.

I once cared about who you were
and about what you thought
but now I know better
and I’ll just screw your sister until I get caught.

You say I don’t love you, I don’t care anymore.
Well guess what? You are right….
now get outta my bed bitch,
you can sleep on the floor.

So here it is, your present this day.
It may not be special, it may not be sweet,
but it’s all you’re getting..
for your mother I must meet.

She e-mailed me this morn’,
with something on her mind.
Then said for a dollar,
her G-spot I could find.

I hope you don’t think,
I did this to be mean.
I just wanted to show you
how little you mean.

So happy V-day and all of that crap.
Have a nice life
and get to the doctor before anyone else
get’s your case of the clap.

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.

Q: What did the pencil say to the paper?

A: “I dot my i’s on you!”

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