Q: Why do turkeys always go “gobble, gobble”?

A: Because they never learned good table manners!

Q: Why do turkeys always go “gobble, gobble”?
A: Because they never learned good table manners!

Little Johnny was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
“What are you doing?” Johnny asked.
“Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,” his grandmother replied.
“That’s cool!” Johnny said. “Are you going to hang it next to the deer?”

On the First Day…..
We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.

On the Second Day…..
We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard rolls.

On the Third Day…..
We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.

On the Fourth Day…..
We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we’d be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.

On the Fifth Day…..
We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of a naked turkey carcass.

On the Sixth Day…..
We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.

On the Seventh Day…..
We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.

On the Eighth Day…..
The word ”vegetarian” keeps popping into our heads.

On the Ninth Day…..
We check our hair to make sure we’re not beginning to sprout feathers.

On the Tenth Day…..
We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.

On the Eleventh Day…..
We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.

On the Twelfth Day…..
We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers. And everybody says, “Amen!”

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.” “Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”