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Q: What would you get if you crossed a stupid boy with a well known Irish ballad?

A: “O Dummy Boy”!

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable, the food is terrible, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, and the accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be following you all your days, if you kiss the Blarney Stone,” the guide said. “Unfortunately, it’s being cleaned today so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow.”

“We can’t come back tomorrow,” the nasty woman shouted. “We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss the stupid stone.”

“Well now,” the guide said, “it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune.””And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone,” the woman scoffed.

“No, ma’am,” the frustrated guide said, “but I’ve sat on it.”

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?

A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!

Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o’gold?
A: They like to “go” first class!

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?

A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!



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